The Reachville Community News Online has been inundated with letters, phone calls and even some strange SMS’, complaining about my use of the term, “Pissed off” in my article, “Simone Martin identified as latest Little Finger victim”, on Tuesday 26 October, 2017.
I did use the term “Pissed off” in the article to express to local council how pissed off I was that the only statement council has given about Little fingers activities, was on the 1st of August, 2017, after Reachville Councillors told the community, in the only statement they gave before moving their daughters to overseas boarding schools that, “it is highly likely that Reachville is only a dumping ground, not a hunting ground and residents should go about their lives as they normally would”.
So today, I, Craven Looney take full responsibility for the use of the term, “Pissed off” in my article, “Simone Martin identified as latest Little Finger victim”. Seamus Macbeth did in no way use the term, “Pissed off” and should not suffer the consequences of my actions.
I simply ask that Todd Ferguson and Stew Rodgers of Palmire Avenue Reachville, who did in fact discover Simone Martin’s Body laying across the legs of Little Finger on that fateful day, to please stop writing to the paper. I have apologised for using the term “pissed off”, and have given your names as per your constant requests.
Now maybe you can piss off (I retract that) and message some of the other news networks and tell them your story.
Having trouble ridding yourself of incessant pests, stop by Mr Durango’s store down on Leaf street and get 20% off all insect spay products when you mention my name. Today only.
This is a contrite Craven Looney and Seamus Macbeth from the Reachville Community online News, bringing you the news as it happens almost on time, every time, promising to not use the term “Pissed off” in future articles, and to remind those interested, that it was Todd Ferguson and Stew Rodgers of Palmire Avenue Reachville, who found Little Finger at the crime scene and called the cops.