Simone Martin identified as latest Little Finger victim

Today Detective Sergeant Groves gave a press conference and did confirm that the body found at the old Warren place on Ralph street last week, is in fact Simone Martin. Miss Martin’s parents were informed early this morning when forensics came back and are receiving counseling.

Our hearts go out to the Martin family and indeed, the people of Reachville today, as they watch their children leave for school, as many knew Simone. Counselors have been set up at the local primary and secondary schools today for those children affected by Simone’s death.

The suspect, Little Finger, has not been identified and Detective Sergeant Groves stated that apart from Miss Martin’s DNA, the only other DNA found at the site was from a person of interest, currently staying at a local psychiatric institution until they have been evaluated before giving their evidence.

Are you having trouble identifying what that smell in your fridge is? Don’t worry yourself about it anymore as Mr Durango, down on Leaf street has ‘Smell Be Gone,’ on special for $3.99 this week only. Tell him Craven Looney sent you and get another 5% off.

This is Craven Looney saying, keep your daughters locked up when they’re home and walk them into and out of school each day. Little Finger is still out there somewhere and the Reachville council members have been suspiciously quiet over the past few weeks and have refused to respond to my question, ‘Do you now agree with me that Little Finger was on his way to Reachville, and not working his way around Reachville, as you stated after the discovery of 21 year old Sasha Dobson on the 1st of August, 2017 when you stated, “it is highly likely that Reachville is only a dumping ground, not a hunting ground and residents should go about their lives as they normally would”.’

Well Councillors, we did, we went about our daily lives living with the chilling thought that Reachville had become a dumping ground for Little Finger. Today one of our own has been identified as his latest victim, and what do you have to say? Nothing!

This is a pissed off Craven Looney and Seamus Macbeth from the Reachville Community online, bringing you the news as it happens almost on time, every time.


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